Pigeons-1 Cholos-0....

So the part timer who closed with me tonight had on cholo socks. *raising eyebrow* I frakkin hate cholos. In fact I would take pigeons over cholos, and we all know how I feel about pigeons. For those who don't, here's why.

During our lovely trip to Chi for Rock the Block 2, Mel and I decide to eat downtown at Johnny Rockets. We grab our food and sit outside in this little courtyard in the middle of the street. Well, Mel sees a pigeon. She decides to feed the pigeon. Pretty soon there are a few more pigeons that have flown in to see what's what. Then Mel falls in love with one of the pigeons. Even goes so far as to name this pigeon. She named it Millie. Then the pigeons fly away and Mel is sad. Sensing her sadness, Millie comes back. Thinking this is a sign, Mel decides she wants to take one home. So we're sitting there, in downtown Chicago actually discussing how to get this rat with wings home. "But she's prancing for me!" Mel says.

I am less than thrilled

I, at this point in the conversation, have dubbed Mel "The Bird Lady" as I tell her the only way that thing is coming home with us is if we strap it to the roof. She didn't think that was very nice. I thought it was *very* nice, seein as how I'd like to stay in relatively good health. We then look across the street and perched on a sign were, what I like to refer to as, a 'gang' of pigeons. They did not look happy.

Meanwhile, back at the Batcave, Bird Lady seems to think that lil ol' Millie is lonely so she starts to feed her...him....it....whatever. I protest, "I don't think that's a good idea" Mel says, "Why? What's the harm? It's just a couple of..." She throws the food and the 'gang' decends upon us like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Mel's laughing and STILL FRAKKIN TOSSING THEM FOOD!

Ever since then there's this running joke that the pigeons are out to get me. Perhaps to peck my eyes out, or perhaps to try and seduce me into taking them home with me. And they FIND me! I don't know how but every trip Mel and I have been on since, there's a picture of me in close proximity to a frakkin pigeon! I'm on to your wily ways pigeons of the world.

I'm working on putting together a trip to Italy for BH's. It's going to be an eating/cooking tour. I wanna make this thing EPIC! Get as many BH's to travel to Italy as a group. How much FUN would that be to go to different places in Italy and cook and eat and laugh and love? You watch....those frakkin things will find me *there* too!

I gots mah burger from Johnny Rockets

And I got Millie. *blank stare*

NYC in January of 2011

"Mel, why are you taking my picture as I'm tweeting? Wait. There's a frakkin pigeon isn't there?!"

 (Mel's giggling) "Maybe." She says.

Really?! Effin really?! South Beach?! Frakkin pigeons followed me to Miami!

(Mel's rollng with laughter) "Yup" she says.

It's conspiracy I tell ya. It's like when someone who doesn't like cats and is around cats, the cats naturally go to the person that hates cats in an effort to try and get them pet them and love them. I'm sorry but I don't foresee a love affair with pigeons anytime soon. 

ANYWAY....back to cholos. I don't like cholos, because they make Wahlberg look like a little old man with a circulation issue. 

But I'd still take the frakkin pigeons over the cholos.