Friday, July 8, 2011

This Moment's Peace...

I had a job interview yesterday. Is it my idea of a dream job? Nope. Is it forever? Nope. Is it for right now? Yup. During this last year I went from 3 jobs down to one. The one I kept was that of a lunch room supervisor in a suburban middle school. One of my Aunts is a band director there and when she heard I was looking for something part-time she told me about the opening, I interviewed and was offered the job the same day.

Basically my roll was to make sure that the kids behaved in the lunch room and out at recess. There were good days and there were not so good days. My Twitter followers were around during the year to hear some of the stories about my days there. I had nothing to do with the food or food prep, so the lunch lady song didn't apply to me.

I have spent most of my life working with kids in some way shape or form. For those that don't know I'm a dance teacher by trade. (see post Why I Teach). I love kids. I relate to kids. I understand kids. The job I'm being considered for is at an indoor inflatable playground for kids. Otherwise known as "My bestie's worst nightmare". It was a good interview, and I like a challenge. It will definitely be that. I do not lack patience. If anything, I have too much sometimes. It has hurt me on occasion. I digress.

It's a management position, which is good on a couple of different levels. One, I have 15 years of retail management experience. Also, I don't do well with idle. The busier I am, the better.  And while Mom has ear plugs for me already, I welcome the noise. It keeps my mind busy. Sucks that adults can't go and jump around in the inflatables though, cause duuuude. How FREAKIN FUN WOULD THAT BE?!  (Yes, Mel... I'm THIS many! lol)

If I get this job, I won't be returning to the middle school. It's bittersweet, but right now I need more than part-time. I need to work and provide for my family. It's important to me. Not working since school has let out has killed me. Financially and physically. I have felt a lack of direction. Of no use, and a failure as a parent. I know they say men take great pride in being able to provide. A big part of their self worth comes from this. I think the same can be said for some women. I would be among those. I sent a tweet today that said, "We teach our children not only with words, but through our actions." My father may drive me crazy, but one of the things am proud of, is that through his actions he has taught me self discipline, and instilled a strong work ethic.

I am not one of those women who are in search of a "Sugar Daddy". Never have been. If I don't earn it, I don't want it. Which is also why I have such a big problem with feeling like a charity case. Very seldom do I ask for help. If I can't do it on my own, then I don't wanna do it. My stubborn pride gets in the way at times. Happens to us all I believe at one time or another.

Anyway, I got a call today and am going in on Sunday for a second interview. This is a good sign. And a step in the direction I want go. It's a job that puts me around kids, and that brings me joy. And it will help me provide for my kids, which is the bigger goal. Yes, their Father pays child support, but that covers what it it's supposed to and I want more for my kids. No I didn't ask for alimony, because I don't want a dime from him. I just wanted him to take care of his kids. Asking for alimony is just one more way he would have control over me. Unacceptable. Been there, survived that.

So yesterday was a good day. Today is a struggle, but my migraine finally went away and the night is young. Tomorrow? Well, I won't worry about that, because worrying about tomorrow's troubles only takes away from this moment's peace. *deep breath* Right now, in this very moment, I have that, and for now, it's enough. :)

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