In a word: Compassion...

This morning I took my kids out to brunch at Village Inn before having to drop my son off to get ready for his first choir performance of the year.

As we were eating and Brandon was regaling me with tales from his play rehearsals and latest video game conquests, I was also watching the table behind him. A Mom, Dad, and 5 kids all under the age of 8. Three girls, a young boy and a toddler boy in a high chair.

The Mom and Dad were arguing about something. Not loud, but it was heated. Next thing I know the Dad gets up and says, "Let's go Girls." The three girls stand and leave with the Dad as the Mom says, "You can't leave me here. I have no way to pay for this."

The little boy starts silently crying as the Mom, with her back to me puts her head in her hands. The Dad comes back and bends down to argue a little more with the Mom, as the girls sit back down. A few minutes go by and both parents get up and leave the kids. A few more minutes roll by and their food arrives at the table. One of the little girls stands up, starts cutting food for the toddler, and the other kids start eating in silence and tears.

Fifteen minutes and still no parents. As my kids and I get ready to leave, I flag my waitress down and ask her to hand me their check. I stand up and the little boy looks at me with a trembling bottom lip and wipes his tears with the back of his hand, breaking my heart.

Our waitress grabs the ticket off their table, hands it to me quickly and I walk up to pay both checks. The young guy, who was their server, ends up ringing me up. As he does, he says, "Is everything okay? Do you know them?" I respond with, "Nope. I don't know them, but I'm worried about those kids and this is the only way I know how to help them in this moment." I pay, hand him money for his tip, and ask him to take extra care of those kids. Then I leave him with his mouth hanging open and my son saying, "Yup. That's my Mom. It's okay to be jealous. ;)"

We walked out, as the parents were walking back in.

I'm not sharing this story for accolades or a pat on the back. I share it because NO child should have to have that weight on their shoulders. I know what it's like to have to grow up fast. Maybe they will pay it forward, maybe they won't. Who knows? All I know is that my kids will remember that moment and will know what compassion means.

~AM

PKD Challenge: My Story...

June 5th, 2001 I gave birth to my second child. A beautiful baby girl. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and perfect in every way. A younger sister for my then 18 month old son. She will be 16 years old this year and is growing into a strong, ridiculously intelligent and talented young lady that makes me proud every single day.

About two months after I had her, during a post delivery checkup, my doctor and I decided to do an ultra sound just to make sure everything was okay. It was during that ultrasound when we discovered there were a plethora of cysts on my kidneys happily frolicking about. 

I was 26 years old, had just had a baby, another one at home and was just told I have a disease that could kill me. 

*blank stare* Thanks, Dad. You're the BEST! lol

Over the years, I have been very lucky that my creatinine level  has remained steady at a 1.4. It becomes Defcon 1 when it reaches 6.0 and means I've begun to go into renal failure.

I'll be going to the doctor in a few weeks for my annual checkup and I pray that it hasn't gone up. A lot has happened in my life in the last year, even more so in the last few weeks, that can effect the function of my kidneys. Although I handle stress better than most people (I'm a pretty laid back girl), it does not help this disease and blood pressure plays a HUGE part in that. It's a vicious cycle. High blood pressure can cause kidney function problems and when you already have kidney disease, high blood pressure can increase the damage already present in the kidneys, which in turn can cause heart enlargement and heart failure. Let me just take a short minute to explain how this greatly affects me.

I know absolutely nothing about my Mother's medical history, nor her family's. I take after my Father physically which helps to shed light on some things. PKD is a genetic disease. There are several members of my extended family who have it. I am the only one out of 3 girls that inherited this disease. One or both of my children may get it. If they by miracle don't, then the disease dies with me and their children, should they have any, will be spared.

I pray every day this disease dies with me.

But I have no intention of dying any time soon. It may help some understand why I have the disposition that I do. Why I try, EVERY day to see the good. Why I refuse to not be fully in the present moment, as good or as bad as they may be. Why I travel as often as I do, while I can. Before I'm on a dialysis machine 12 hours a week and can't. It is SO important to me to show my children that life is meant to be lived, and that what we do, how we give and love that FAR outweigh ANYthing else. Our connections with people. THOSE are what matters. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to continue to give as much as I can to this world because for me to leave it without adding happiness to it is, to me, a waste of this soul I posses. 

Most days, I feel pretty good. There are days when I am ridiculously tired, when one of my kidneys makes this disease present and accounted for. Nights when I am curled up in a fetal position hoping that the heating pad on my left side will ease the pain. However, you will never know it. One of my Assistant Managers (who has medical knowledge) said the other day when he found out, "You do?! You are the most upbeat, positive person I know who has it! Most people who have it are constantly sluggish, and tired all the time. You never stop MOVING!" I had no intention of telling him I had the disease, but after about the third time he asked if I wanted any coffee and I explained that - while I do so love coffee - I have to limit my daily caffeine intake. He asked the next obvious question, so I told him.

I do not believe in self pity and I do not choose to burden others. Ever. This applies to everyone in my life. It doesn't matter how close to me they are, or how much they know/don't know about me. People have their own lives to lead, their own demons to deal with, and I refuse to add to their darkness. I choose instead, to always be a light. If that makes me selfish, then so be it. Nor do I wish it to effect how people treat me at work. I am fully capable of doing the job I was hired to do, with or without my kidneys enlarging to the size of footballs. Not kidding.

This disease has no cure. Only treatment. Diet, dialysis, transplants. These are all treatments. NOT cures. It is inevitable that my... kidneys... will...fail. I hope to hell that doesn't happen any time soon. I'm a stubborn soul, born of stubborn stock. I rarely ask for help, choosing instead to handle things on my own.  If I ever ask anything of anyone, it means it's important enough for me to set my pride aside. 

So, I humbly ask you this...

Please educate yourself about this Polycystic Kidney Disease, donate to the PKD Foundation as we search for a cure, help spread awareness, and become an organ donor...become a LIVING donor. 

The life you save, could be mine. 

#LOVEANDLIGHT

~Ann Marie

That's What I do...

Last night at my 4th Men of the Strip show, I was interviewed for
the reality show they are currently filming. Whether or not they use
anything I said is irrelevant to me. It did however, make me stop
and realize, that I don't think I've really told anyone, why it is I
support them as fiercely as I do. I don't even think the guys understand.

For those who don't know, Men of the Strip is a whole new male
revue show re-imagined and brought to life by Mike Foland (The
Cowboy), Glenn Packard (The Creator) and of course Jeff
Timmons (The Presenter). I lovingly refer to them as my "Power3".
I don't know why, exactly. Other than they are the boss men and I
think "Brought to you by Power3 Entertainment" has a nice ring to
it. Just sayin'.

There's also a funny story involving Power Rangers, but that's not
important at this moment in time. lol

Before I go any further though, I would like to politely request that
you please not refer to me as a "Super Fan". The term makes me
feel slimy. Like one step away from a "Groupie" and I am about as
far away from being anyone's groupie as you can get.

In this case I prefer the term: Dream Enabler.

My bestie will be the first to tell you that that's an accurate term for
me. I have a thing about supporting people who are trying to make
a dream a reality. I fall in love regularly with people's passions, and
I think from the moment I saw my first show, I knew I was jumpin on
this train and riding it til the end.

The guys may remember meeting me at that show, and they may
remember watching me in the audience. And when they read this,
they're gonna stop and think, "Oh, yeeeeah. She DOES do that."
Or, they may not pay attention to me at all during the show, and I'm
just talking outta my ass. Either is believable. lol

I wasn't sure what to expect at that first show. When my bestie,
Mel, asked me if I wanted to go, I thought it sounded like a shady
venue and we were gonna get shanked on the East side. Jeff
assured us it was safe, so I thought, "What the hell. Why not?" It
was my first male revue show, ever. I'm far from prudish, but it was
never something that really interested me. In my mind, if a guy
can't dance like Channing Tatum, then what's the point? lol Always
in honesty. I'm a dancer. That's just how my brain works.

I'm an observer and a thinker. I watch. I take things in. I remember.
I analyze. I observed that show and every show since then, from a
creative standpoint. They may notice that I'm always in the back.

There are reasons for this...

One) I was at a table in the front for the first show and I feel like I
should let those who have not had the experience to be able to be
up front.

Two) I can't watch the audience from the front. One of my favorite
things to do at ANY concert/show is to watch the audience. I love
to watch crowd reaction.

Three) More dance space. I never sit. I'm a dancer. I dance. lol

I have had the opportunity to talk and connect with these guys a bit
throughout the shows and I am proud to be able to say that they
are really genuine, down to earth, sweet guys. THAT in itself is a
rare, rare thing, in my world, and is just another reason why I'm on
this train.

One of the questions I was asked last night was, "Who is your
favorite and why?" My answer was two-fold.
I said, "Mike is my favorite. He's very good at his job. He knows
how to work a crowd and how to make every woman in the room
feel beautiful. And he's SO charming and SO sweet." I would've
gone on to say how funny, smart and business savvy he is. How
well (he may debate this) he wrangles the guys and handles all the
details to make sure they're taken care of. How he has a strong
work ethic which I greatly admire and how he has a very generous
and pure heart...buuuuuuuut whenever someone mentions Mike,
my cheeks get hot and I get flustered and shy. So, that happened
on camera and the first part of this is as far as I got before I had to
change gears.

So then I said, "As far as the dancers go? Chris. Chris is my
favorite. I'm a choreographer by trade and I gave Chris the (nonexistent)
best dancer award because I think he does the best job
at executing the choreography. I know he worked hard to get it
right. And... have you SEEN him?"

They then asked me, "How do
you feel about him not stripping to a g-string and instead stripping
to boxer briefs?" My response to that was, "That doesn't matter.
Women need to be seduced, and the fact that he's in boxer briefs
and not a g-string, shouldn't matter. And he's friggin chisled. I
mean, have you seen him?!"

OFF stage, Chris is someone I could probably sit and talk to for
hours. Easy to talk to and very approachable. Makes a point to
come hug me after the show is over and everything is winding
down for the night. We had a nice chat in FL and another last night.
He's just the kinda guy I like to talk to. Like my brothers.

Kyle, Keith, Chris, Nate, and Joel. They sing and dance and
sometimes with all of their clothes ON. Gasp! Whaaaat? It's true!
Don't believe me? Then get your ass to a show! Each one of them
has distinct Alpha personalities that lend to the excitement and
experience of the show. It's gonna be hard for me when they add
the additional members, because I've already connected with
these guys. I'm invested in these guys.

There has been a lull in the boyband world for us Blockheads and I
think it has given Men of the Strip the wings it needs. A lot of
NKOTB fans have gotten their boy band fix at these shows and
already have their "favorite guy." The timing for sort of a "grass
roots" approach to building a strong fan base that will invest in
making the trip(s) to Vegas when they take up residency could not
have been better for them. EVERYthing happens for a reason. You
may not know what the reason is at the time, but IN time the
reason will reveal itself.

Do they strip down to g-strings? Yup. Do all of them? Nope. And
that's okay. Do they go out into the audience and dance with
women? Yup. It's an interactive show, kids. Are they ridiculously
beautiful male specimens who work hard to achieve the bodies of
Gods? Without question. Will they give individual lap dances? Yup.
Will they entertain you and leave you fully sated and satisfied?
Abso-fucking- lutely.

Here's the thing. It goes beyond that for me. I see 5 guys, who
really love to entertain and are not afraid of the work required to be
able to do so. I see a choreographer's vision. I see the passion
when they get on stage and I see their hearts, when after all is
said and done. When they're tired and hangry and just want to
shower, eat and go to bed, yet they take the time to talk to the
fans, take pictures and sign things.

I will continue to go see my boys live their passion, because I
believe they have the talent, drive and the determination to make
the brand they're building, bigger than life.

I have a soft spot for the underdog and will root for the dark horse
every time. I will be there to dance and sing and cheer them on for
as long as I can. I don't do it expecting a damn thing. I have ZERO
sense of entitlement in my life. I do not do things expecting to get
something in return. Period. I'm not built that way. Those who know
me, know that is as true a statement as any. Being a witness to
someone's dream coming true is like a drug for me. It makes me
ridiculously happy to see someone's hard work pay off. I
appreciate a strong work ethic, as I have one myself.

I am proud of these guys. I am blessed to know them as individuals
and as one helluva team. They work hard and put on an AMAZING
show! If you haven't seen them yet, go to Vegas. I guarantee you
will not be disappointed. Watch their reality show when it premiers
sometime Memorial Day weekend, and perhaps get a glimpse into
what I see. These 5 guys with hearts of gold working hard at
pursuing their passion and literally living their dreams.
Everyone needs a witness to their lives, I am just honored to be
one of many witnesses in theirs. If you want/need me I'll be the one
in the back, dancing her ass off, cheering them on as loud and as
often as possible.

Because that's what I do. I enable dreams...