Sunday, April 29, 2012

One Life....Mine.

Wow it's been a while huh? Seems like forever ago when I had challenged myself to write a blog a day for 365 days. You can see how well that went. lol SO many things have happened since my last post but I won't bore you with catching you up. If you really want to know, feel free to comment below and I'll happily send you to the Vlog links. There's a couple. ;)

It's been a rough week for me. A REALLY rough week, and I was hit with some nastiness from a person that clearly knows both me and my ex and chose to lash out at me for absolutely no reason, other than alerting me to the fact that this person clearly is in need of LOVE that I cannot give them. This person also decided to attack YOU. People I love, and did it by hiding behind an Egg Head and super secret code name. Actually....two different ones. I have a hunch I know who is behind this sad attempt to 'call me out'. What are we 12?

I'm going to now address this hate in here and be done with it. Until I do, it will weigh heavy on my heart and I refuse to give hate that much power. I have fought too long and too hard to let someone Else's insecurity pull me down.

I must preface this by saying this was NOT my ex. I've already spoken to him about it. This person probably wasn't counting on that, and after talking to my ex he helped me narrow down my suspects. He thinks it's ridiculous that someone felt the need to act on "his behalf", when he has more than moved on with his life. Sad that this person cannot.

1) Clearly your version of "truth" is filled with half truths. One sided stories are often like that. It is also quite clear from your hateful tweets that you really have no clue who I am. Who I was and who I am, now that I no longer live in fear of being ME, is what hurts you. I have closed a book that you were in and you can't let go. Your issue. Not mine.

2) I am not a fraud. I am human. But I do appreciate that comment coming from someone who chose to come at me hiding behind a fake name and an egg face.

3) I never said I had a recording contract. I said I had an "offer" that I turned down when I was 18 because I didn't want to be a country artist. I didn't want to move to Nashville like they wanted. I wanted to sing Pop and R&B so, I turned it down. You're not believing that just tells me you weren't there. Wanna know who was? That's right, Mel. You know, my bestie who you called "beastie" and "Oufat"? Now, while I appreciate you calling me a "Vampire who sucks the life out of people and that when I'm done with her I'll move on to my next victim" (shouldn't I be glowing right now?) SHE was there. She's been in my life for TWENTY ONE years ya twit. Yes, we lost touch for a while, but there are reasons for that, that mean nothing anymore. Time and distance mean very little when someone is meant to be in your life. Period.

4) Yes, in fact I did have a modeling offer with Elite Plus Size models when my kids were very young. They asked me to move to NYC. At the time, my then husband refused to move to NY on the "chance" I "might" get "work". Feel free to ask him about it, since you know all about us so well. He'll tell you.

5) Yes, in fact I was pulled down a flight of stairs by my hair, by a previous boyfriend. Obviously it's something I share with ease which is precisely why you 'know' all about it. FYI the movie Enough came out in 2002 and the incident happened in 1994. Yes, I did cut my hair on my honeymoon. I have never denied that. Clearly you knew my reasoning behind that decision. *looks for the sarcasm font*

6) I'm not even going to address this one because to bring someone I love into this will just piss him off. He's a bit busy right now and has very little time to deal with stupid shit, and even less use for haters.

7) My financial standing is absolutely none of any one's business. Yup. I live with my parents. Again, I have never denied this. They have a suite downstairs, the kids and I occupy the upper level and we share the common areas. It works out well for us, because they are here for my kids when I travel and when my Mom is out of town I can help make sure my Dad in his fragile health doesn't die alone. Do I want to be here forever? Nope. And I won't be. But for now, it works for us.

8) My kids are just fine. They have a roof over their head, clothes on their back, food on the table and their Dad and I get them what they need when they need it. What I do with my money is again...none of your fucking business. My children are AMAZING. They are independent, and creative and smart and talented. I  will not justify myself in my roll as their Mother. My children are a direct result of what I, and their Father, are teaching them. and I couldn't be more proud of the young adults they are becoming.

9) I, as you so eloquently put it, "hip hop around the country" because.... that's..... what....choreographers.....do.

10) You said, "Twitter is for narcissists and that I'm the coolest of the 'twitter tards' which is like being the tallest midget." Hmmm.... well..... they are like family to me, and I'm quite sure they will be happy to hear you refer to them as 'twitter tards'. Aside from the fact that you took the time to create not one but multiple accounts just to sling hate. This infers that you are in fact a "narcissistic twitter tard" as well. I would not trade these people, whom I've met most of and spent actual physical time with, for anything in the world. Yes, you, what did you say... "invaded my sacred Twitter grounds". It is not only a place to vent, and dream, and connect, and create, and network, and laugh and share it is a place that people like you.... have no place being.

11) I have let go of so much anger and hate in my life. It serves no purpose other than to give one the illusion that they are better than another. I challenge you to look into the mirror next time you decide to attack me or anyone else, and ask yourself, "What is it I hope to gain by attempting to bring another person down? Other than making it clear to that person that I am miserable and unhappy in my own life and do not have the courage to change it, so I'm just gonna talk some shit and hope if I talk loud enough out of my ass someone will love me." Glass houses and all that.

So, I have given you the attention you were in such desperate need of, I challenge you to now close this book. Let go of me. Just let me go. My ex has moved on with his life. Life. It is a fragile thing and I have already taken too much time away from it to give even these moments to you. If for some sad, sick reason you choose to attack me again, so be it. You cannot hurt me. I have an army of LOVE in my corner and you have no idea of the strength that possesses.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a life to get back to. It's just one life. MINE. Good luck in finding your own. I wish you nothing but happiness in your journey and I'm sorry I could not love you the way you wanted me too.

Ann Marie~