On ONE Condition...

Mom and I had a lovely chat the other night while sitting on the deck on the definition of Unconditional Love. What was ultimately decided was that there is no such thing. To break down that commonly-used term is to quite simply say, "Go do whatever the hell you want, and I'm gonna go do whatever the hell *I* want, and we'll just not care about what the other is doing because it really doesn't affect our relationship cause we love each other."

The truth is, every relationship has conditions. Pretty sure if you were to drain your bank account unbeknownst to your spouse or significant other and went on some wild shopping spree, they would have a slight issue with that. "Oh but we love each other unconditionally so..."

Or, "You love me unconditionally, so I'm just gonna smack you around a little. It's totally fine." No. It's not.

Through every love, there are conditions. Little, everyday conditions that we set for ourselves and for our loved ones. If we walked around doing whatever the hell we wanted all the time without thought or concern for others, we would end up alone.

Here's the thing, you want conditions. Healthy conditions. The conditions that let the other person know, "Hey, I care about your well-being so I may have an opinion or two about how you are treating me or others." There's nothing wrong with that.

I welcome that. I don't want people I love around me who only agree with everything I do or say. If my ass looks fat in those jeans, for cripes sake tell me. I would think those close to me would want me to do the same. The other kind of friend isn't a friend at all if all they do is smile and nod and tell you everything you want to hear. I don't follow blindly and I don't have friends that do either.

Often times I care about someone way more than I should, and it bites me in the ass. That happened recently. My heart hurts, but it doesn't change the fact that I still care, I still love.... It just means I'm keeping my heart a little closer to the vest these days. Ya know they say, you shouldn't be concerned when a woman cares too much. It's when she stops caring, that you should.

You want to be my friend, here are my conditions....I want people around me who can respect my mind, and my opinions even thought they might not always agree. Who will understand my 'triggers' and forgive them as I will forgive theirs. Who will allow me to be "me" and as I will be there to build them up and support them and encourage them, I expect the same. I have spent too many years being torn down, and let me tell you that all it takes is one negative comment to kill a dream. Just one. I want people around me who have no hidden agenda other than to enjoy each others company through this thing called life. ( I now have Prince stuck in my head. Awesome.)

So if you can handle that, we have a shot at being friends. You start throwing around ultimatums then we might have an issue. Because those say you only care about one person. You. And well, that sucks for anyone who cares about you.

Bottom line is this. You can be my friend on ONE condition.......if I care about you, if I trust you enough to let you through these walls, if I love you.........let me. It may not be easy at times, but you can bet your sweet ass it'll be worth it. ;)