Okay, here's where I stand in this.
A) It must be said there isn't a better DJ than Cheapshot for this gig. That's just a fact. He's my favorite! One of the reasons being that he doesn't flip a frakkin song every 10 seconds. He actually let's you enjoy more than 3 notes into a song. Also, he's just fun! :)
Secondly) To see Boyz II Men is on my Bucket List. GAH!
Third ) It's not in Times Square. So, I won't freeze my ass off and there's a place to pee. Dude. My bladder is the size of a grain of rice and there's no way I would survive Times Square on NYE. You have to hold it for HOURS cause there's no where to pee yo!
And last but not least) The venues and huge arenas and massive tour of the 9 was fun, but always in honesty, I miss the 5. My favorite tour since this reunion began has been the CasiNO Tour. Why? Well....many reasons...but a big one is because of the intimacy of it. The connection to the audience is stronger. I just LOVE that.It *feels* more like family to me.
Since the tease of this possibility was thrown out into the universe I've been going in circles in my mind trying to make it work. Here is where I'm at in the thought process. Stay with me kids. lol
Here's what I foresee happening. I will buy a ticket and book my flight and will be forced with two choices. I must preface these choices by saying my co worker who took the GM position of the store last month is putting in her notice Dec 1st. Why? Because she moved to Iowa from Cali to go to school not run a Monkey Joes. She plans on having her last day be Dec 23rd. Which means it will be me and the other Assistant running the place during our busy season. I had the opportunity to take the GM position and decided against it because there's no health benefits where I work. This is a big concern for me, because since I have PKD it's difficult to get my own policy due to my pre-existing condition. If I go somewhere with a group plan it's a non-factor. Plus, this is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. It is not my chosen career. It puts food on my table. Period.
I LOVE kids. I LOVE being around them, but I'm a dancer and a dance teacher. My destiny is not in making pizzas, mopping floors and dragging a giant purple monkey around town. $10 an hour and no benefits isn't a wise career choice, but I'm a single Mom and I'm happy to have a job right now. I digress.
Back to the forseable choices.... I will buy a ticket to the concert, book my flight, and then either not be able to go, because I'll get stuck working, OR say fuck it and get on that plane and have no job when I get home. EVERY fiber of my being wants to be THERE in NYC for NYE. There is no where else I'd rather be at midnight than there....in that moment. My heart needs to be in that moment.
Sadly, my freakin head is in the way.
Because I am who I am.....I can't do it. My kids come first. To not have a job to come home to is unacceptable. I have plans I'm trying to make. Going to NYC for NYE will not allow me to afford to go to Boston in the spring like I plan on doing. Nor L.A. in late spring early summer. Nor will I be able to afford to go to Kentucky for my cousin's wedding OR back to NYC on a road trip with my kids and bestie. on top of which I'm still trying to move out east. There is SO much I want to do, and things I WILL do, and all of them require me to be responsible and smart.
So, you see...NYC for NYE is in my head swirling about. Like a tornado of anger! (That's a Kicking and Screaming reference. If you haven't seen that movie watch it with your kids. Will Ferrell is genius)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the corner rocking back and forth and crying confetti tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment